ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
