Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
