i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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