Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
