She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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