Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
