im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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