well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
