Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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