is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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