At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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