is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
