They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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