I didn't shave. On purpose
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
