You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
