I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
