so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
