The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
pray to the hookup gods
wow bdsm is so cute
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
