She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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