3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
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The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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