There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize