i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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