i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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