just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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