he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
