I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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