...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
