I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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