Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
