He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
