i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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