I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
