Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
