It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
