my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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