I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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