Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
