I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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