if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
