I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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