Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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