I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
