Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize