You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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