when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
pray to the hookup gods
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
