I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize