Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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