We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
