His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
