My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
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I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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