I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You are a genius and a whore.
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