but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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