I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
