I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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