my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
