Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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