I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
