sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize