Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
