she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
