god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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