you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
