i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize