if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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