it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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